I always thought I was a little crazy...

Sharing feelings and emotions has never been something I've been comfortable with. Especially if the emotion is pain. Funny thing is, I'm usually the cause of my own pain. According to Albert Einstein, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Well by this definition I must be insane. I keep following my heart when it's steered me wrong so many times before. I ended last year with a new attitude. I was going to open myself up to the idea of love. I think I even blogged about it. I didn't want to be a bitter woman who'd closed herself off just because she'd been hurt before. There was still a part of me that would scream and fight to get me to protect myself. "Don't do it, you'll only get hurt." But how can you love, or be loved, if you don't take a chance? That voice got quieter and quieter as time went on. Right about now it's saying "I told you so". I've never been able to gamble with my money, so why do I keep gambling with my heart? I'd hate to go back to being that cold hearted woman. I made so much progress, or at least I thought I did. So what now? I don't know. I like to make jokes about drowning my sorrows in a bottle of vodka, but thanks to Lent I've got a good two weeks before I can do that. I pray I make it...