Hmmm, this blogging thing is slightly addicting. Didn't realize my mind was so jam packed with random thoughts.
Anyhoo, I was reading an old journal the other day. And when I say old I mean from high school to the end of college. Around 2000-2004. As I was reading, I realized that the girl with the messy handwriting was a total stranger to me. The handwriting is still messy, but the girl was a mystery. She was young, silly, excited about the future, and most of all naive and a hopeless romantic. The woman reading the journal just felt utterly...hopeless. How could 5 short years alter me so completely? I'm still silly yes, and sure I'm happy...but the hopeless romantic part? Gone. I've turned into some manipulating, almost heartless, woman. You could say I love em and leave em, but there is really no love involved. When I get bored, I leave em. I don't think all men are dogs and I know there are some really great ones out there. I've met some. I'm still trying to figure this thing out. Am I just too afraid to give my heart like that again? Or is there nothing left to give?
Regardless, I've decided I need to make some changes in my life. I just don't feel like dating at all. And I have no interest in any of the men that are interested in me, so I won't be talking to them either. I guess it's time to figure out what I really want and who I really am. Deep, huh? Lol no worries, I'll still be my regular silly, laughing self during this process.