Mr. Big is back

As soon as I write a post about leaving all my scummies in 2009, Big wishes to resurface(again). Big is my ex. Maybe I should give you the whole story. But damn, that would take time I don't have. Short version: Big and I met in 2004. Over the course of these five years we've broken up and made up about....I don't know....20 times. Probably more. He lives in Nashville, I live in Memphis. We've done just about everything to ruin any kind of love we might have left. But the truth is, I love him just as much now as I did five years ago. Unfortunately, love isn't everything.
While Big is essentially a good guy, he's not really ready for the kind of relationship I want. On top of that, what we have seems to be unhealthy. We both get blinded by love and do things we shouldn't for the sake of being together. With that being said, on labor day this year, I kicked him out of my life for the umpteenth time. Really, if neither one of us have any solid plans for moving, and actually spending our life together....what's the point? Anyhoo, I was doing really well until about 3 days ago, when poof, like a rabbit out of a hat Big reappears. He's saying he loves me and needs to be with me. He asked to come see me for the weekend. And when have I ever been able to tell him no?

There's a first time for everything.

I told him NO. I wasn't mean about it. I just explained that I don't want to start the cycle again. Simple as that. Even though I'd like to see him, I told him no. And guess what he said..."Well I'm coming anyway. If you change your mind, and hopefully you will, I'll be there". So Big will be in Memphis this weekend. Will I stay strong and stay AWAY??? Or will I give in to temptation??? Only time will tell I guess. But first, it's time for our monthly book club meeting. I live for these things!!!