In all honesty I can't even remember why this has been so heavy on my mind today...blame the tangled mass of random thoughts that is my brain. While chatting with the girls today, I posed a question. Can women and men be friends?
Before I go any further, allow me to clarify. By friends I mean STRICTLY friends.
Not friends w/benefits. (Ya'll know what this means)
My girls, being the hilarious and brilliant women they are, gave me great answers. Karly* a 29yr old single woman initially said it can work as long as no one crosses the "friend" line, but "if he's fine I am probably gonna kiss him at least once, or give him a massage...something. So I guess you can...as long as he's not fine." Sahara*, a 26yr old woman in a relationship says "If we both decide that friendship is as far as it goes and we understand why, then two mature people should be able to be just friends...sad to say I ain't one of those people." Most of the responses I received on FB and Twitter were "hell no's", with only two people who think it's possible as long as both parties exercise will power. My answer? In a word, yes, men and women can be friends.
But as I type this I hear Karly's voice....."as long as he's not fine." Hmm, what if he is fine? Would attraction change things? I think of all my male friends and guess what...not physically attracted to any of them. The only one I've been attracted to is no longer of the platonic variety. It's hard to imagine myself being friends with a 6ft tall, intelligent lite brite who enjoys my company and NOT jumping his bones....but maybe that's the Samantha in me. Sahara made a good point when she says "If he is worthy of a real friendship, then he must at least be an alright guy." and isn't friendship the foundation of a good relationship?
Am I saying that it's impossible to be friends with someone you're attracted to? No, it's definitely possible and can be a great experience but it can be difficult until you fall into the easy pattern of true friendship. My friend Kee says, "It is possible to admire someone and find them attractive and not want them. I think it depends on the strengths of the parties involved." I agree with her. Will power and respect for your friendship are ultimately the deciding factors on whether or not you can be friends with someone who just so happens to be hott as a marathon runner's jockstrap.
*Names have been changed to protect my retarded friends' identity.
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Now this topic is def FOOD FOR THOUGHT. I think it's one of those questions that could definately ignite discussions with no end. However your blog get's a thumbs up and I'd agree with the majority...that ish would sooooo NOT be easy. One question though, that last sentence..."hott as a marathon runner's jockstrap" uuuuuh it would be hott indeed however the STENCH would not be so great! lol
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